Question: How can we differentiate between manners and actually being grateful?
Answer: Manners are simply being polite. Being grateful is actually appreciating what someone is doing for us. For example, you can say thanks, or you can really mean it. Of course, being grateful is actually good manners so they can be the same thing at times.
Question: We always think things will make us happy but when we get them we want other things. How do we become happy with what we have?
Answer: To be happy, you need to appreciate what you have not what you think you want. We have been programmed by advertising and society in general to have a feeling of ‘lack’ so we always think we need more. We need to realize that material things will not make us happy for long. But things like assisting others will always make us happy as will appreciating what we have. Happiness is an attitude. We can have a attitude of happiness or sadness, it is our choice.
Question: So we need to find a way to be happy with what we have. If we are happy with what we have, will we stop striving for more?
Answer: If we are happy with what we have, we will stop striving for more material things, but that does not mean we will stop striving to better ourselves, help others, gain wisdom, etc. There are plenty of worthwhile things to strive for, which are not related to material objects and trying to outdo our neighbor.
Question: It is not easy to find our purpose in life. What do we do to find this?
Answer: Actually it is easier than you might think. Our purpose in this life is ingrained in our subconscious. Follow your interests, work hard to succeed at what you like doing, and don’t let excessive worry change your plans. For example, our purpose is never to be a teacher or engineer, or a businessman. Our purpose is to learn the lessons a teacher or an engineer or a businessman will encounter. Many of those lessons will be available to us no matter what our occupational choice happens to be. Whatever you do, try to be the best at it as possible and assist others along the way. Then you will surely be following your life’s purpose. Also don’t be afraid to change your job or lifestyle along the way. Nowhere does it say we are chained to our previous decisions. We have free will and should use it. Follow your heart, it will tell you what to do next.
Question: We tend to work on negative emotion. How do we shift our ways to positive?
Answer: It is important to live a balanced life. In order to succeed at anything, we need to focus on our problem because that is where we will find life’s lessons, which in the short run certainly appear negative. A daily practice of counting our blessings, seeing the positive in life, and realizing that ‘this too will pass’ when problems occur, will ease the burden. MJ Ryan lists 12 things to do in “Attitudes of Gratitude” which can help you see the positive aspects of your life.
Question: So you are saying by shifting our focus we can change the way we think?
Answer: Exactly. It is our attitude that makes us happy, not our material possessions or accomplishments. It is how we view them. For example, we can be upset that we don’t earn as much money as we would like to, or we can be happy that we earn as much money as we do. Look at the glass as half full and be glad there is some left rather than fret that some is gone.
Question: When should we practice this gratitude thought?
Answer: Whenever it is convenient for you. You could do it at a meal, in the shower, when driving to work or any time you have a moment to think about it. The important thing is to make it a habit that works for you. Pick a time which will likely be convenient each day.
Question: Can you really get happy around happy people?
Answer: Absolutely. Don’t you find it infectious to be around people that like to do interesting things and enjoy life? It is why comedians make us feel good. Our aura is an energy field around us. Positive energy is different from negative energy and our energy field is effected by other people’s fields. Notice how you feel around other people and then notice if they are happy or morose. You will be able to see this pretty quickly.
Question: How can we not worry about the future?
Answer: You cannot worry about the future and be grateful simultaneously, so gratitude is a key element to help reduce worry. What helps me is realizing that everything that has ever happened to me has always been in my best interest, even though I did not realize it at the time. We are living this life to experience things and those things are usually difficult, but they pass in time and then we get new challenges. It is important to recognize that we are never given more than we can handle, so no matter what happens you will be able to deal with it. Life is a temporary excursion from our permanent home in the spiritual world, so even death is simply going home.
Question: How can we find a new beginning?
Answer: Start with where you are and look back at your life. Think of all the positive things you have done and accomplished. Then think about all your challenges and how even with your mistakes, you gained from the experience. Hopefully, after a good bit of thought you will see that your life, as difficult and mistake prone as it may has been, it was good for you. Then ask yourself what you might want in life. Visualize your life the way you would want it. Include the type of people you want to surround yourself with; the type of job you want; the health you want; etc. Basically what would be important in the life you would want to live. Then go get it. If you need different educational skills, get them. If you need a different job, go find one. I suspect that the biggest thing you need is a better attitude, and you can get that immediately. Also have patience. Life is a journey not a destination.
Question: How can we learn to count our blessings? Blessings are not always apparent.
Answer: I agree that all our blessings are not apparent, but some always are. Look at what works in your life: good friends; loving family; good health (think of what afflictions you could have but don’t); good aspects of your job; the wisdom you have gained; etc. We start our existence as a spiritual spark. Our consciousness has existed for eons. We begin our first incarnations as a group consciousness, manifested in the universe as minerals, then as plants, and then as low level animals. When we were matured enough our consciousness differentiated itself and became a higher level animal and eventually we incarnated as humans. Look how far you have come. Your future is to become a high level spiritual being and who knows what wonderful things that will lead to. Your blessings are staggering, and you have earned everyone of them.
Question: So you are saying we need to see the good in things. How can we see the light to do this?
Answer: We are surrounded by wonderfully positive things in life, but we need to focus on them in order to really notice and better appreciate them. Start out by picking something you are fond of like flowers or water or trees or stars or really anything. Then make a special effort to notice them and notice some of their characteristics. Like the number of petals each flower has (keep a record and see if there is a pattern) and note their colors and shapes. It is an amazing universe we have been inserted into, but we need to let our worries and fears subside and focus on the good stuff.